Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
