You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
