I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Can I color on your dick again?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i think i just lost a toe
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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