Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
