I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
