The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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