in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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