I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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