shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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