if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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