WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
