just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
