I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
