My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
