You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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