Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
