I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
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Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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