I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
