i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
