No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
