I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
