she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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