Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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