fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
