I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
