3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We have started to decorate penises.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
