WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
