thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
