And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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