Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
