I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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