Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
