It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
