My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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