redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
