i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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