I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
