Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
