How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
