Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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