Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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