Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
