So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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