please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
