Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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