it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
