i will never coherently bang her
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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