I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
