margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
