I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
