Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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