hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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